Motherhood’s Mental List

If you’re reading this title and thinking about something else that needs to be done, this is for you.

There is a list that lives in my (our) head.

It doesn’t sit on paper and no one ever asks to see it, but it is always there running in the background no matter what I am doing.

It is made of small and ordinary things that on their own, would seem almost insignificant like bringing upstairs a pack of nappies and leaving another one downstairs so I don’t have to rush when changing Miss 1.

I mentally rearrange the week while driving or cooking or even listening and answering questions that come one after the other.

It is not just what needs to be done but when, and how, for whom, and what might happen if it is forgotten.

My therapist once said that I have mental fatigue.

That sounds about right, I guess.

But I am almost certain this is not just me, it is almost every mother in the world.

So complaining about it will only make me feel worse and it won’t solve anything.

Instead, I’ve been trying to create more mental space to understand that not everything on that list deserves my energy and that I need a better system to organise this endless list.

I wanted to write a list of ten things that help with the mental load to share with you.

But the truth is that I only got two (and they are helping).

1. Get it out of your head
One thing that has helped me a lot is simply getting things out of my head. Whenever something comes up I write it down on my phone. Just getting it out already takes some of the pressure off and it gives my mind a bit of space to breathe.

2. Be where you are
This one I’m still learning, but it’s been really important. I try to remind myself to be where I actually am. When I’m with my kids I try to be fully there. And when I finally get a moment to rest, I try to actually rest without mentally jumping ahead to everything else that needs to be done.

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That’s it! That’s all my mind can produce today.

I hope this helps you too. ✨

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