Living My Rule: Reflections on 'A Mother’s Rule of Life'

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I first read A Mother’s Rule of Life when I was searching, not just for more structure, but for meaning in the mess. I wanted to honour both my vocation as a mother and my calling to work and create. Holly Pierlot’s book came to me like a conversation I didn’t know I needed.

What is A Mother’s Rule of Life?

At its heart, this book is about anchoring motherhood in something deeper than just to-do lists. Holly Pierlot, a Catholic mother of five, invites us to look at our daily chaos through a spiritual lens. She introduces the idea of a “rule” for mothers, not a set of rigid instructions, but a rhythm for living that brings order, peace, and purpose.

The word “rule” comes from the Latin regula, the same word used for the rules followed by monastic communities. These aren’t about control, but about creating space to live well, to live intentionally, and to live for God.

Holly builds her rule around five priorities:

1. Prayer – putting God first and rooting your day in His presence

2. Person – caring for your own health and well-being

3. Partner – loving and serving your spouse

4. Parent – being present and intentional in raising children

5. Provider – managing the home and contributing to its needs

She doesn’t shy away from the messiness of motherhood. Instead, she invites us to see it as a path to holiness. Her message is both practical and deeply spiritual: your daily life is not separate from your faith, it is your faith, lived out hour by hour.

What Spoke to Me

What moved me most when I read A Mother’s Rule of Life wasn’t the structure (though I love a good routine), but the way Holly connected the ordinary with the sacred. She didn’t speak of prayer and parenting as two separate things, but as threads of the same fabric. Wiping a child’s tears, folding laundry, preparing meals, these could be offerings, not just chores. That thought stayed with me.

I was also deeply touched by how she placed the mother as a person second only to God. It felt radical to read that caring for ourselves wasn’t selfish. It was essential. That as mothers, we are not just vessels to be poured out endlessly. We are souls with needs, and if we don’t tend to them, we burn out. Her reminder that we are daughters of God first was both gentle and grounding.

And of course, her emphasis on prayer, anchoring the whole day in God’s presence. felt like a call to return home. Not in long, uninterrupted hours (which don’t exist in my house), but in short, whispered prayers while brushing hair or washing dishes. That kind of prayer, the kind that weaves through the ordinary, felt not only possible, but beautiful.

Where My Life Looks Different

As much as I love the idea of a perfect rhythm, my life rarely fits into neat blocks of time. I don’t have quiet mornings with structured devotions or afternoons where everything runs smoothly. My days are loud and messy and often unpredictable. I have little ones at my feet and work deadlines that spill into the night. When the lights go off in my girls’ room, the light in my office goes on.

I’m a full-time mother, but also a full-time everything else: entrepreneur, homemaker, night owl, early riser. I didn’t step away from work to mother, I reshaped my work around motherhood. That means I’ve had to build my own kind of rule. One that bends. One that breaks some days. One that gives grace.

What Holly’s book reminded me, though, is that even if my schedule doesn’t look like hers, the heart behind it still matters. I can still begin with God. I can still care for myself so I can care well for others. I can still love my husband, nurture my girls, and do the work I’ve been called to, all in the same day, even if never at the same time.

My Personal Rhythm

I do have a printed schedule on the fridge… though no bells to mark the hours. But I’ve found a rhythm, a flow I return to when things feel overwhelming. It’s not always followed perfectly, but it gently reminds me of what matters most.

I’ve shaped my days around five quiet priorities. They echo Holly’s, but they’ve become my own:

1. Presence – to God, first and always. In whispered prayers while rocking a baby. In quiet gratitude during a pause. I don’t have long stretches of silence, but I do have scattered moments that I try to offer back to Him.

2. Peace – for myself. A warm shower. A hot drink. A deep breath. Tending to my own soul so I don’t live from depletion.

3. Partnership – with my husband. Marriage in the little things—shared glances over tired heads, catching up late at night, choosing love even when we’re both running on empty.

4. Parenting – with intention. Not always crafts and calm voices, but always love. Always being there. Always coming back to connection.

5. Purpose – in the work I do. It might happen in the dark hours, but it’s still mine. Still meaningful. Still worth showing up for.

I don’t always get the balance right. But this rhythm gives shape to the chaos. It reminds me that I’m not just getting through the day—I’m living it with intention, grace, and love.

A Mother’s Rule of Life didn’t give me a formula, it gave me permission. To honour this season. To embrace my limitations. To seek God in the ordinary. To live not by pressure, but by peace.

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If you’ve read the book, I’d love to hear what stayed with you. And if you haven’t, maybe this is your gentle nudge. And more than anything, I’d love to know: what does your rhythm look like these days?

We’re not meant to do this alone.

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